glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
