she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
