I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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