u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
