I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
