i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We don't watch enough power rangers
i believe in u and ur pee
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize