In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
