I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize