I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
