I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your penis caused this!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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