there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
