When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Are we in a gay sports bar?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
