you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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