I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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