Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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