1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
