she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
