I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
