This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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