Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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