K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize