her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
