I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You smell like stripper and shame
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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