alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize