Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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