You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
