I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
