I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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