At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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