a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
