Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
