I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize