this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize