A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
