Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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