If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
