After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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