Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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