first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
