I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
