If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
try to milk me bitch
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