she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You ruined the universe
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
