so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize