Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
