I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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