What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
