I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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