Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
