I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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