Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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