my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
