Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
