South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
