I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
