I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
