he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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