Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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