Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she pinky promised me she was 18
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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