when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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