I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This is classic penis vs brain.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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