Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
