So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
