He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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