Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
