I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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