Girls should come with a carfax report
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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